Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
