Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
