If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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