No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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