Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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