If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize