Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
