he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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