literally had 100 drinks last night.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
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Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
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And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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