Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize