sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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