She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
