fuck your aforementioned shoe
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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