I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize