I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
