I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I need to sanitize my soul.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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