sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize