I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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