I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
