Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
