Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize