): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
