I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
