i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
