At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I love you. Go after that dick
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
