i need an iv and a liver transplant
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
