Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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