She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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