If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
