It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize