i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
