bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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