ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
