Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
