he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
