am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
