so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
