you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
