someone owes me an orgasm
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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