yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
