worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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