Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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