Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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