508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
