Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
do herpes really smell.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
