I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
