what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Found the puke drawer
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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