my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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