I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
