Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
love makes seman taste better
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
