I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
