This dress was meant to end up on your floor
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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