Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
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Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
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Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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