the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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