i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
