i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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