how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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