You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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