I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize