I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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