I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
