Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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