pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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