How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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