guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
