I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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