Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My cat gives me a boner
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize