Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
