i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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