sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
