wat bout pragnant strippers??
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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