Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
